Ellen Pompeo On Tackling Racism, Raising Compassionate Kids, And Her Family Life

Let me tell you a story about Ellen Pompeo, the star of Grey’s Anatomy, who grew up in Boston and faced some tough realities early in life. In a candid conversation on Red Table Talk, Pompeo opened up about the racism she encountered, even from her own father. “I was always pushing him to confront those biases,” she recalled. “One of my favorite tricks? Hosting pool parties and inviting all my Black friends over. When my dad came home from work, he’d be greeted by a pool full of Black boys. It was my way of challenging his worldview, one splash at a time.”

Fast forward to today, and Ellen ended up marrying Chris Ivery, an African-American music producer. Here’s the twist: Chris became her dad’s absolute favorite person. “Isn’t that something?” Pompeo laughed, sharing this moment with Jada Pinkett Smith, her mom Adrienne Banfield-Jones, and her daughter Willow Smith. “Life has a funny way of surprising you, doesn’t it?”

How Ellen Pompeo and Chris Ivery Are Raising Their Kids

Ellen and Chris are raising their three children—Stella, 9, Sienna, 4, and Eli, 23 months—with a focus on inclusivity and understanding. “As parents, it’s our job to make sure our kids are exposed to all kinds of people,” Pompeo emphasized. “We need to show them the diversity of the world and help them appreciate it.”

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It’s not always easy, but Ellen is determined to have open conversations about race with her children. “A lot of people feel uncomfortable bringing it up, and I get that,” she explained. “But these are crucial conversations. If you’re afraid to talk about race, that’s a problem. We can’t shy away from the hard stuff if we want to raise kids who are empathetic and informed.”

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This man has been my rock… my soulmate …my protector and has given me the three greatest blessings in my life. I don’t know how I got so lucky but Wow am I grateful. I don’t take one minute with you or our beautiful babies for granted. Thank you for your love CI… you are my everything. Happy Fathers Day. #hewillneverseethishehatessocialmedia

A post shared by Ellen Pompeo (@ellenpompeo) on Jun 17, 2018 at 4:24pm PDT

Teaching Empathy Through Personal Experience

Ellen’s approach to parenting is deeply rooted in her own experiences. “When I was just four years old, my mom passed away,” she shared. “That kind of trauma shapes you. It teaches you compassion. Compassion isn’t just something you learn—it’s something you live.”

She’s passing that lesson on to her kids, encouraging them to be kind, empathetic, and aware of others’ feelings. “Being a mom is the most rewarding job I’ve ever had,” Pompeo said with a smile. “It’s not always easy, but every moment with my kids is pure joy.”

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